How to get more traffic on your blog!

I had a quiet weekend! Went to a good Chinese restuarant called "Hunan", off New BEL Road, on friday for dinner, with family. Food was good; great ambience & service. Must visit if you are in this part of town.
Saturday night went away playing poker with Puneet & his friends. Puneet (my bro) taught us how to play this game; quite interesting & addictive. India's game against Bangladesh also kept me awake.
Sunday came & went.

I was reading an entry online, which was talking about how to keep up traffic on your blog; the concept was simple; it said "Be Interesting!". I am reading it & telling myself, I AM INTERESTING! I mean, most of the girls i knew said that, right!, WRONG!!

Apparently, that is not what gets you traffic/people into your blog: so here is my version of how to be interesting: (Brace yourself)

1. Be Wrong: Say the wrong things, think the wrong things & write the wrong ideas. Its human nature, PEOPLE!! We want to know whats wrong, why is it wrong & how did it go wrong!! Its curiosity that kills us & make us seek new information! Get the Point!!

2. Do something: World has two kinda people! Sayers & Doers!! People only say, they talk; (have you heard of GW Bush), now you know what i mean! So, first be a Doer; go & do something, anything! Plant a tree, fly a kite, take a walk in a nearby park, propose to someone, get pounded by them, stand on your terrace & shout, wink at someone, kill a rat, slap your boss, slap yourself.... & then write about it! Talk about your experience! See where i am going, do something & then write!

3. Surprise people: Everyone around you does the same thing, day-in & day-out. They are boring! You need not be! Do some diferent, something hatke! Ask yourself, "When was the last time i did something for the first time?" After you do that, simple, write about it!

4. This one's my fav: Show a halk naked woman: Hey dont let your horses run wild on this!

5. Be Funny: Have you ever read Dilbert! Remember: people like funny guys; yes, i know Bush (ok, he wasnt liked by many) was funny too - wheneever he spoke i would laugh my ass off! Remember this simple formula: Funny = people = more traffic!

6. Predict the future: This ones again my fav. Go ahead, say something that will happen to people in the next 5 years! It need not be right!  I dont expect you to read Nostrodomus & write about it! Just make up something & write! It neen not be about people; it could be anything. For ex: say that the world will end in the next 5 years, they could expect the mother of all tsunami's; because of so many harmfull chemicals in the air these days around the world, women will get bald in the next 2 years.. let your imagination wild!

7. Tell them who they cannot be: See, this ones a killer thought! Not all can be Bill Gates & Tiger Woods & Warren Buffet! Never tell them what THEY CAN be, but tell them the opossite!

8. Write a detailed dairy: Ofcourse, about yourself. For Ex:
06.00    Got up
06.05    Had milk with eggs
06.20    Went for a walk
06.25    Came back from walk
06.30    Slept
08.00    Opened door on bell
08.05    Picked up paper
08.20    Went to loo
08.30    Had a bath
09.30    Walked naked at home alone
09.45    Ate bread & mashed potato
10.00    Had a itch on my behind
10.15    I am still scratching
You get my point now!

9. Be courageous: People like stupid people! Video yourself jumping off from the terrace of your 2 storyed house or get kicked in your groin by your friend & youtube it! WOW.... People digg this dude!

10. Be "in-your-face" honest: Read Point 8.

11. Tell a story: Talk about your date with Penelope Cruz on an island! Say, how you single-handedly defeated the Romans in India....

12. Say something important: Want to propose to your girlfriend - dont tell her. Write about it on your blog. Thats some major traffic dude! Better still - if she breaks up with you - thats mega traffic.

13. Are you kidding me: Say the complete opposite! The Earth is round; are your kidding me man: The Damm Earth is flat!

14. Put all the above pointers together & you become a mega-INTERESTING-person to follow.

Did i forget to tell you, click on this link!